I was recently asked: “Why do you only share stories about women? You’ve had plenty of male clients!”
My initial answer was simple: “Perhaps women are more culturally inclined to seek counsel and change, at least with me.”
The person replied, “Maybe you're just a feminist.”
I smiled and said, “That’s interesting… because many of my female clients say I give too much ‘credit' to the men in their lives. As the saying goes, everyone acts according to their own assumptions.”
This conversation brought to mind Hestia, Sophia, Metis, and Hecate—the powerful archetypes of the post-midlife woman, brilliantly documented by Dr. Jean Shinoda Bolen.
A question has been circling my mind ever since: Where are the equivalent guiding archetypes for men after midlife?
While men certainly have their powerful models—the Sage, the Patriarch, the Senex—these are often archetypes of power and external control, rather than internal, transformative wisdom. Male psychology tends to focus on the midlife crisis and reasserting (or redefining) masculinity, not on the quiet, profound journey of inner aging.
The finding is clear: A profound cultural and psychological void still exists for the post-midlife man who seeks to evolve from the ‘Powerful Patriarch' into the ‘Compassionate Sage.'
I started this search hoping to find signs of this transformation ready to emerge. Yet, the deeper I went, the more I realized: Perhaps the time is not yet right. Perhaps the first generation of ‘Power Men' has not yet learned to listen to the inner voice.
So, I am concluding this particular search, not out of resignation, but with a quiet acceptance—like someone placing the lamp on the shelf, knowing that one day, someone else will find it and light the way.
Call to Action/Question:
What, in your professional or personal experience, is the single biggest barrier preventing men from transitioning into the “Compassionate Sage” archetype after their primary career/family stage is complete?